Everything You Need to Know About the 5 Apology Languages

Do you know your apology language?

We know that you’re probably already familiar with love languages. Now, meet the five apology languages. I bet you didn’t know that there are different ways of apologizing, however, understanding your apology language can make a huge impact on your relationships. The idea of love languages and apology languages were both coined by author and radio hot Gary Chapman, Ph.D. He published the book “The Five Languages of Apology” in 2006 and lists these five languages as expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuinely repenting and requesting forgiveness.

Take a look at our guide to the five apology languages in the gallery below, then let us know your apology language in the comments section on social media.

Expressing Regret

If your apologies often start with “I’m Sorry,” then your apology language may be expressing regret. This is one of the most simple and straight forward apology languages, often going along the lines of “I’m sorry that I hurt you.” If this is your apology language, it’s important to look within and recognized the hurt you caused to the other person.

Accepting Responsibility

If your apologies revolve around admitting what you’ve done wrong, then your apology language may be accepting responsibility. This apology language is similar to expressing regret, however, it specifically resolves around accepting wrongdoing to the other person. It often sounds like “I was wrong” or “I made a mistake.” If this is your apology language, be clear with what you’ve done wrong and keep it short yet sincere.

Making Restitution

If your apologies include phrases like “How can I make it up to you?” then your apology language may be making restitution. This apology language is all about promising an action and hopefully, delivering. It often sounds like “Let me make it up to you” or “Next time, I’ll do_____ to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” If this is your apology language, make sure you actually take action and make it up to the person you’re apologizing.

Genuinely Repenting

If your apologies show your desire to make a change, then your apology language may be genuinely repenting. This apology language is all about verbalizing that you feel badly and want to go about things differently. It often sounds like “I wish I hadn’t done that. What can I do to not do it again?” If this is your apology language, make sure you follow up on your desire to change.

Requesting Forgiveness

If your apologies include you begging for forgiveness over asking for permission, then your apology language may be requesting forgiveness. This apology language isn’t just about begging, it’s giving the other person the time to think and process what you’ve done. It often sounds like “Can you forgive me?” or “I hope you will forgive me.” If this is your apology language, be sure not to use it as a manipulative tactic and allow the other person to make their choice on their own accord.

You can find out your apology language by taking Chapman’s official Apology Language Quiz HERE.